Kansas Fucking City, thank you very much.

15/08/07

we’re sitting in the departure lounge of Kansas City International Airport, where we’re preparing to get the fuck out of dodge.

Hi all.

we’re sitting in the departure lounge of Kansas City International Airport, where we’re preparing to get the fuck out of dodge.

Upon checking in, we were apparently ‘marked for extra security measures’.

This meant, at the check-in desk, each of our suitcases was opened and thoroughly inspected, then the contents were stuffed back in, and the bags thrown on a conveyor belt.

After Simon correctly identified one of the security staff as a dick, in a rather loud voice, we exchanged words with a supervisor, who seemed to know absolutely fuck all about security.

They then went through all 11 guitars, drums and toolboxes, and refusing to carry, to Churd’s dismay, his can of WD-40.
We figured at this point, we’d best remind them they’d just thrown 3 bags with aerosols down the baggage belt, and they’d best get them back in case the aircraft blew up.

Then, upon going through the security, we all had our arses roundly felt up, admittedly by far nicer staff.

The cherry on the cake as far as I was concerned, was when we finally made it to the departure lounge.

James and I found a small shop, and went to pick up some bottles of water and a bite to eat. My eye was drawn to a selection of cakes, and upon picking one Muffin-esque piece up, had the following exchange…

"Excuse me…. what kind is this?"

"YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS..!?!??"

"……… no."

"YOU AIN’T NEVER SEEN ONE OF THOSE IN YOUR LIFE?! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS???!!!!"

"Well, its a cake… but is it banana or something? Lemon?"

"IT’S JUST A CINNAMON ROLL! JUST A PLAIN CINAMMON ROLL!!!!?!??!?!?"

Well excuse me for not being a fucking mind-reader, or a resident of this glorious fucking nation.

In my eyes a cinammon roll is about and inch and a half in depth at best. Not shaped like a fucking muffin.

Oh… our flight is being called, so time to go…. I’m sure they’ll have some more security questions for us. Especially if they monitor the output on their wi-fi systems… Fuck you Kanas City Airport, Fuck You.

See you in a few weeks America, next stop Brussels…